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Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Living the life of a woman and seeking happiness

What if evil doesn't really exist? What if evil is something dreamed up by man, and there is nothing to struggle against except out own limitations? The constant battle between our will, our desires, and our choices?”

― Libba Bray, Rebel Angels

I always dreamed to live my life with respect, dignity and equally addressed in every aspect of living. I don’t feel different than a man in anyways. But, I always smell the discrimination that comes from every corner of my personal and professional life. I wake up early in the morning, clean the home, prepare breakfast, prepare lunch and get ready to work by my self and get ready for my kids for school. Along the way, I have to wake my husband up and have to remind him it is already time. Not only that, I have to prepare coffee and breakfast for everyone before they come to the kitchen. I feel discriminated against and disrespected as it continues every day. It is absolutely unfair that anyone can understand. But fighting is not the solution to the problem if my counterpart doesn’t understand the truth.

I am a working mother having two little kids. It is my great privilege to have an opportunity to work from home during this tough time of pandemic. But, sometimes I feel that my employer takes me for granted because they know I want to work but I can’t change the job at this moment having two kids and looking for a new job from home not easy at this tough time. Working for others means making money for them, whenever I make a big amount of money they become happy but whenever sometimes happen to come down they made their face. So, I feel that I am just a machine to work for my kids, to work for my family but not living the life that I really want.

It is said that showing the problems, telling own stories are the weakness of women as it could neither solve nor find a way. But, I am thinking a way, seeking advice from the people and from my friends and loved ones and of course from the people of the world, who understand the women's values, worth and respect them equally. I want to ask my hubby why can’t you prepare your meal on your own? But if he answers the invalid truth, I can’t keep on arguing with him every day, can’t fight with him that makes my kids feel bad. After all, I want my peaceful life, peaceful environment and happy family, and happy life at all.

Whenever I shared with my mother, she always assures me to be calm and to bear everything as a women's life is very tough until the children grow up. I also realize that it is not only me, millions of women in the world having multiple roles in a family just for the sake of living life in peace, seeking the happiness of family, and hoping the best for their children. 

It is difficult to change someone if he doesn’t understand by himself, can’t respect himself. Rather, I have turned by myself trying to do the best thing, working hard by myself, and carking my kids with my best efforts and knowledge I have. I know it is not only me and many of the women in this world who have been suffered. I am just telling this story not to be said sorry but I want to tell the true story to this world.

Life is always short but beautiful. Making people cry always give the tear but pleasing people at least give me happiness. I am emotionally strong and self-believer that I could make the changes, I could bring better days to come sooner or later once my little ones turn to taking care of themselves. Let’s spread the hope for everyone, every woman who is struggling in their life in many ways, we are here to share the pain, joy, happiness, and every worth of what we value to the people and to this life. So you are not alone, we are here together, let’s bring the hope, peace, and happiness of every human being in this world.


Anonymous said...

Every nepali man is like that.No matter how much they talk about equality outside, they forget once they step inside the house. I am a mother of three. We both lost our job during pandemic.Now I am the only one looking after all three kids to the house chores.What the husband does? Lying on the sofa/bed watching youtube videos/Netflix. Talking on the phone 24/7 even while watching tv.And wow I just found out he is having an affair. I talk about this with one of my closet friend who suggest me that this happens so don't worry it will be fine. It will be fine.. Really?? No matter what we do it's always the women who suffers the most. Do all the shitty things for the men who never appreciate.why? Why? Why?