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Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Living the life of a woman and seeking happiness

What if evil doesn't really exist? What if evil is something dreamed up by man, and there is nothing to struggle against except out own limitations? The constant battle between our will, our desires, and our choices?”

― Libba Bray, Rebel Angels

I always dreamed to live my life with respect, dignity and equally addressed in every aspect of living. I don’t feel different than a man in anyways. But, I always smell the discrimination that comes from every corner of my personal and professional life. I wake up early in the morning, clean the home, prepare breakfast, prepare lunch and get ready to work by my self and get ready for my kids for school. Along the way, I have to wake my husband up and have to remind him it is already time. Not only that, I have to prepare coffee and breakfast for everyone before they come to the kitchen. I feel discriminated against and disrespected as it continues every day. It is absolutely unfair that anyone can understand. But fighting is not the solution to the problem if my counterpart doesn’t understand the truth.

I am a working mother having two little kids. It is my great privilege to have an opportunity to work from home during this tough time of pandemic. But, sometimes I feel that my employer takes me for granted because they know I want to work but I can’t change the job at this moment having two kids and looking for a new job from home not easy at this tough time. Working for others means making money for them, whenever I make a big amount of money they become happy but whenever sometimes happen to come down they made their face. So, I feel that I am just a machine to work for my kids, to work for my family but not living the life that I really want.

It is said that showing the problems, telling own stories are the weakness of women as it could neither solve nor find a way. But, I am thinking a way, seeking advice from the people and from my friends and loved ones and of course from the people of the world, who understand the women's values, worth and respect them equally. I want to ask my hubby why can’t you prepare your meal on your own? But if he answers the invalid truth, I can’t keep on arguing with him every day, can’t fight with him that makes my kids feel bad. After all, I want my peaceful life, peaceful environment and happy family, and happy life at all.

Whenever I shared with my mother, she always assures me to be calm and to bear everything as a women's life is very tough until the children grow up. I also realize that it is not only me, millions of women in the world having multiple roles in a family just for the sake of living life in peace, seeking the happiness of family, and hoping the best for their children. 

It is difficult to change someone if he doesn’t understand by himself, can’t respect himself. Rather, I have turned by myself trying to do the best thing, working hard by myself, and carking my kids with my best efforts and knowledge I have. I know it is not only me and many of the women in this world who have been suffered. I am just telling this story not to be said sorry but I want to tell the true story to this world.

Life is always short but beautiful. Making people cry always give the tear but pleasing people at least give me happiness. I am emotionally strong and self-believer that I could make the changes, I could bring better days to come sooner or later once my little ones turn to taking care of themselves. Let’s spread the hope for everyone, every woman who is struggling in their life in many ways, we are here to share the pain, joy, happiness, and every worth of what we value to the people and to this life. So you are not alone, we are here together, let’s bring the hope, peace, and happiness of every human being in this world.

Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Enhance your happiness by expecting less from others.

Happiness is the inner state of mind at which we feel better, cool, confident without any distraction of the mind. We can enhance our happiness when we expect less from others because the expectation of support, love, and care from someone lower our happiness sometimes.

We always expect the best thing from the people around us. We want them to be compassionate, empathetic and encouraging but in contrast, when we don’t get from them, we come to be sad and disappointed. 

By nature, human beings are social creatures, we always want to be surrounded by people. We need love, support, and care from our loved ones, but we are not equally lucky in this world who could have everything that we want. Everyone is different in this world, everyone's circumstances, and opinions are different.  If we can blend our thoughts in a single pot putting our differences aside to form a loving and caring family then nothing is impossible. But if only one keeps on expecting from others who are not committed while pursuing the common goal, then those expectations will be valueless and also destroy the happiness that is still preserved.

This is just an example, it could happen not only in the family or somewhere, but it may happen in any circumstances, relationship, friendship, or any other social ties that we come together and work together for a common goal.

So, if we think that I could be happy if I had such people in my life, or I will be happy once I get married, I will be happy once someone I love the most will give me company; all the assumptions are wrong.  Someone may give you company to some extent and may help you to be happy for a while but the happiness that comes along with someone is always temporary because we can’t guarantee anything in our life. Even our life here is temporary, we can’t guarantee the relationship we have can give us permanent happiness and the company someone is giving now will stay forever.

 We have to learn to be independent, self-reliant, we have to practice our mind to enjoy ourselves, we have to discover the ways that keep us happy even we are alone or ourselves in this world.  Let's make our expectations less from others regardless of who they are. Someone could be your loved ones, your friends, or your companions, don’t expect to be happy only with their company. We must learn to live not only in laughing but also in crying.

We want someone to listen to our pain, pressure, and someone who keeps us cheering all the time. We could have someone in our life who listens to us, care for us but it doesn’t mean our happiness should be dependent on all expects. Someone could be in different situations one day, that loved one could turn into a hater one day, or many possibilities might come that we don’t intend it to be. It will be the toughest situation if we are dependent, our happiness is dependent on all those circumstances.

No matter how people behave with us, how they change the way one day, we must keep ourselves happy oneself. When we don’t expect or always expect less from our companies it always enhances our happiness. Let’s grow our mind and thought ultimately toward our self-assurance and augment our happiness to infinity.

The end

By Indira Chongbang 01/27/2021

Sunday, January 17, 2021

मेरो मनको गुनगुन तिमी


पारी छितिजमा जब जब जुनको  मधुमय सुसेली देख्छु तब तब  तिम्रो यादको चुस्किले एकपल बेचैनी बनाइदिन्छ  यो मन। फेरि म त्यही कल्पनाको सागरमा  सयर गर्छु  जहाँ हामीले हाम्रो सपनाहरू साटेका हुन्छौ , जहाँ मायाको अथाह भुमरीमा हामी डुबुल्की मारेका हुन्छौ   अनि  सधैसधैका लागि दुइ मुटु एकै बनाएका हुन्छौ   । त्यहि पलमा जीवन रंगिन देखेका छौ अनि अनन्त सम्मका सपनाहरु साथ साथमा बुनेका छौ। हो त्यसैले त तिमी मेरो मनको गुनगुन हौ, कहिले पनि अन्त नहुने  अनन्तसम्मको प्यास हौ तिमी।  

तिमीबिनाको पलमा म शुन्य हुन्छु, तिम्रो सम्झना बिनाको जीवनमा म आफै खल्लो हुन्छु किनकी  तिमी नै जीवनको एक शुन्दर बगैचा हौ जहाँ म रम्न सक्छु।  तिमी नै मेरो निम्ति  मायाको बिशाल सागर हौ त्यसैभित्र डुबेर जीवनमा हास्न सक्छु।  म तिम्रो मनको हरेक प्यालामा  हुन्छु, म तिम्रो मनको हरेक संगीतमा हुन्छु त्यसैले त यी  छहरामा संधै नाचीरहन मन छ , त्यहि पहरामा तिमी संगै प्रिती साटीरहन मन छ । आहा जीवन कसैको होस् त हाम्रो जस्तो जहाँ केवल हासोको पल होस्, जीवनमा पूर्णताको आभास होस अनि जिउनुको अर्थ होस्। 

मलाई  जुनको  मुस्कान जस्तो  तिम्रो यौवन चाहिन्छ,मलाई तिम्रो माया  जस्तो  हरेक बिहान चाहिन्छ किनकी   त्यसैले त म  तिम्रो चोखो पिरतीमा डुब्न सक्छु , तिम्रो मुटु  संग मेरो   मुटु साट्नु सक्छु । हासोको हरेक पलहरुमा तिम्रो चेहराको आभास  हुन्छ, मायाको हरेक नामहरुमा तिम्रो नै त्यहाँ  उपस्थिति हुन्छ। त्यसैले त यस बिशाल संसारमा  दुइ अलग लिङ्गको उपस्थित रहेछ,  जीवनमा तिम्रो मेरो कथाको सार जस्तै, दुइ  अलग जीव  तर एकै मन र मुटु।  जुनसंगै हासिदिने पलहरु, भावानासंगै रमाइदिने क्षणहरु केवल यसैको सिर्जना हो, तिम्रो मेरो मनको मिठा मिठा बातहरु। 

जगतमा हजारौले आशुको पिडा भोगिरहंदा पनि हामी भने  केवल हासोको मोल गरिरहेका छौ किनकी हामीलाई यो सुन्दर जीवन पूर्ण बनाउनु छ, मर्ने एउटा कारण होलान्, बाच्ने हाम्रो हजार रहर छन्, रुने त एउटा  कारण होलान् , हास्ने हाजारौ बहाना छन्।  त्यसैले हामी हासिरहन पाउ, यसैगरी बाचिरहन पाउ ।  जबसम्म यो धर्तीमा यो सास रहन्छ तबसम्मका लागि आशाका दियो बालिरहन पाउ।   यहि संधै कामना गरौ जीवनमा तिमी र मेरो सानो प्रयासले संधै  यो धर्ति सुन्दर बनाइरहन पाउ, अनि त्यही भावनाको डुंगामा हामी दुइ सयर गरिरहन पाउ। 

अजम्बरी अबश्य कोहि हुन्नन् यहाँ तर प्रत्येक दिन कसै न कसैको मृत्युको खबरले मुटु नराम्ररी झस्किन्छ, मन नराम्ररी कटकिन्छ ।  त्यो दिन सम्म रहूला या त नरहुला तर हाम्रो यो सुन्दर पलहरु, मिठो सपनाहरु संधै बाचिरहोस।  मान्छे एकदिन धर्तीबाट टाढा गए पनि यो कल्पनाका सुन्दर स्वरुप, स्वर्णिम फूलका गुच्छाहरु संधै यहि धर्तीमा यो पिरतीको मिठो सुगन्ध छरेर बाचिरहोस।  हामी यस धर्तिको एउटा सानो कण हौ जो जहिले पनि जुनसुकै समयमा बिलाउन सक्छौ, तर यो पबित्र मनहरु संधै बाचिरहोस त्यसरी नै जसरी हामी हो जीवनमा हाम्रो मायाको अमुल्य पलसंग रुमलिएर बाचिरहेका छौ। भोलिको सुन्दर पललाई भावनामा साचेर हासीरहेका छौ।  यति सुन्दर कल्पनाहरु संधै अमर रहोस, संधै फुलिरहोस अनि त्यसै गरि हाम्रो त्यो पिरती पनि संधै फुल जस्तै हासिरहोस। 

Indira Chongbang