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Thursday, August 13, 2020

The choice of women

 We can’t imagine this world without women because they have continued the generation of human beings.  Women play multiples roles being the daughter of someone, daughter in law of other, mother, mother in law, wife and so many more during their life span. While looking at their roles it seems that they are made for someone else not to live their life on their own.  They have to please others and

always need the validation of their acts from family and society It means they have to follow certain rules which are created for them.  Then the society, the traditional system, people’s mentality always rules their ways where they are walking but they forget to oversee their own life. I am born not to act as per the people’s wish, but I am the artist of my own life which is made fearfully and wonderfully to enjoy the fullest being in charge of my own.

The priority of everyone should be what I like to do, and I believe from my heart, not the people’s opinion or what they expect from me. But the biggest challenges that women face are they always follow the other opinion, other decisions and can’t stand alone what they are made for. It might be so funny piece in front of the women who are far beyond in their independency but, it is all for the general women who are still fighting and trying to live their life in the best possible ways. Since the beginning of life, our parents teach us what to do or what not to do. When we grow up, our society makes many rules that we need to follow them. As a girl, I had to listen to the people’s voices what I was supposed to do and what I wasn’t supposed to do at an early age. I couldn’t use my freedom; I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do but became a sincere daughter listening to my senior people and following my society’s traditional rules which were based on the patriarchal system. As a girl, if I had stayed at my friend’s home one night far away from my home, I would be scared to face what others might tell me and my family. At that time, I didn’t realize that what life is really meant to be but thought everyone has to follow the social norms and values which are traditional, autocratic and dictatorship towards women and girls.

Even after pursuing higher education from university and standing on their own feet, many of them are still suppressed in numerous ways.  They can earn and feed themselves and their family but, still, they cannot live their independent life. The reason behind this is they care about their family; they love their children and can’t be selfish to rush away from that kind of family who still follows the traditional norms. Looking behind the life of women and so many things, I believe that many women have not lived their life for oneself but for the sake of others.  They follow to save social values, praise, and prestige even after understanding what their own values are. They can’t be in charge of their life because they are so kind, generous, and selfless. Only their own happiness doesn’t become the priority, but the collective happiness of their family becomes the choice of women.

While going through my own life, I can be somehow different, but many things are alike as I mentioned above. I understand very well this life is given for one time, that is why I should enjoy the fullest. I am extremely outgoing, friendly, with a manner of laughing, loving to have fun with friends. But, as a mother, I know what my responsibility is, as a wife I have to understand what are the circumstances that I can’t go beyond and many more. Sometimes when I fight with my spouse, I believe we are quite different in our ways of living and it would be better to live by our own choice. If I were alone, I would have done that earlier but as a mother, I can’t choose that way for my own happiness. The happiness of my children is my priority and always becomes the most important of my life regardless of the differences that we cope with each other. That is why I always have to make my heart bigger; I have to be stronger and have to go beyond my own choice. I can enjoy them in life even if it throws me to the curveball and can turn the darkest night into the brighter one. I have full of potential to be happy regardless of the outer circumstances and no matter what others judge me, I am the one with unique nature, full of values and beliefs to be reaching out to my dreamland. Life is the combination of sorrow, joy, happiness, distress, comfort, and difficulties but if we handle it easily it starts to shine even in the toughest time. It is a women’s choice to keep their smile together forever.

Written by Indira Chongbang 08/13/2020