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Tuesday, May 9, 2017

My advices for your concerns

Questions and answers

All names of the questioners have been kept confidential. It is under my privacy policy not to disclose the individual identity regards to something personal issues. I am answering the few questions of my best wishers who want my advice. With due respect for considering me to write you something, I am so glad to be here today. We may have undergone the same kinds of situations, if you have any better resolutions, please do write me back or leave in a comment box. I appreciate you if you do so for me.
Funny Pictures

Q1(Furious). I fell in love with a beautiful girl belonging from the different caste. Her parents have a home in Kathmandu, but I am someone who came from the village and a poor guy. My family didn’t allow me to marry her, but I couldn’t live my life without her. Her parents accepted us then we tied a formal knot. I started living in her home as her parents agreed on that. We were happily living the life and blessed a baby boy. After then, she changed her way little by little. It could be because I was not earning. I found myself just a burden and constantly looked for a job and started to work a risky job to earn something. Due to my job, I may die any time but without money, nothing seems possible in this world. Our purity of the love vanished due to lack of it and due to my inefficiency of not generating enough money for my family's comfort. I have been staying her home and land it makes me feel bad. I must work hard taking my life at risk just for the sake of my son, but due to ways and behavior of my wife sometimes I think I should leave her and start living the life by myself, what do you suggest?
My Answer

First, I would like to thank you so much for considering someone who could give you a better advice though I am not that expert, but try to tell you some things as per my understanding.  Based on my personal observation and experience many people marriage life possesses the complication during the life span. Some resolve and make better, some split and some compromise for the sake of their kids. In my opinion, you must think it wisely which one will be the best options because if I tell you one thing that could not fit into your personal life. I highly recommend resuming back your relationship with your wife. Try to understand her and try to make her happy. I don’t think money only the one which matters the most, but there could be several things.  It is not easy for a woman to become a mother. She might have asked your support as every woman expects from her partner during a hard time, but at that meantime, you might have taken that you were underestimated because you are living in her home.
Sometimes our ways of perception, create a problem in the relationship.  You can try to be nice and support her all the ways possible. You could be happy after leaving her alone but keep in mind you don’t have only your own life now. Your kid always seeks the support of both parents and be happy while finding you together. I request you to compromise in the level you can, she will love and care you. You are not her life, but also connected with a life and future of her kid. I want to see your prosperous relationship which is very important for you and your kid. We can always have a choice but always should choose the best. If you are compelled to work risky work, convince her and seek better opportunities.  Wider your vision and eyes, you will be able to catch the good one soon. Good luck!

Q2. (Confuse)

I am a married male and father of two kids.  We loved each other and without permission of my family, I insisted on marrying her and became the parents soon. Everything is going on well, but for a few months, I have suddenly fallen in love with a lady. I think she is only the perfect woman for me and she has stolen my heart and thought. She was just my friends, but without purpose I fell in love with her. When I told her my feeling, she smiled and said she was also in the same boat. Unfortunately, she is also a mother of two kids.  I want to marry her and want to spend my life with her. She says sometimes yes, but sometimes no. I am really confused what I must do?


Thank you so much sharing your personal issues, expecting the good advice. I am sorry if my answer may hurt you or could go against your willingness. As I have seen that both of you are married and are the parents of kids, I don’t think it is judicious to split the existing relationship for the sake of emotional closeness.  You know your wife was beautiful when you fell in love with her initially and now you are telling me, you fell in love with someone else who is married and a mother. Suppose, if you marry her, is there any guarantee you could live your rest of the life with her? Because in this sequence of life you could find again another beautiful one and may fall in love.  I don’t mean you are wrong, we human beings are so sensitive and kind sometimes our emotions go beyond our control and make a quick decision for our own comfort and pleasure, but forget to think about other people who relate to us. I have seen that there are six people’ life will be affected if you decide to marry her. If you think you can live your life only yourself, you can make this decision, but I am sure you will regret one day later in your life. She could be beautiful by appearance, but none is there in this world without setbacks and flaws that you may not be deserved and find guilty for adoring her.

I suggest you try to control your emotions. You like someone doesn’t mean this relationship should be ended by a marriage. You could be a best friend ever, you can share your feeling and stay as a good friend. I request you don’t take that step which may give you pleasure, but that will be always in shortest time. You can enjoy the life fullest with your existing family as you already have two adorable kids. You must be responsible for them and try to enjoy the life, whatever you have been blessed by the god. You can’t have more than what is predestined. So, let your hunger away from the mind and thought. You will be okay soon.