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Tuesday, May 30, 2017

I am sorry

My heart breaks into pieces when I came to know I was already late. I spoke with her once when I had been Nepal last year, but never got an opportunity to see each other. It was about a decade ago I had met her once after then we proceeded for our own trip looking for our own fortune and also due
In memory of my late cousin sis Pampha Chongbang
Gupha Pokhari that we had traveled
first time together.
to the destiny dragged us apart to the different directions. I don't exactly remember how old we were at that time, but it is revealing in my mind striking hard and making me speechless. We were very young age and wanted to enjoy and feel the snow but it was unexpected and quite tough to cross the road. She had helped to step away that slippery road and played a role of guardianship when I was alone but today I couldn’t even hear her single voice when she was fighting with her difficulties. I was not able to do anything at her hard time. We had spent our childhood playing the mud together and made beautiful butterflies together for our younger brothers. Spent many parts of life together but at the end, she left us even without saying a single word.

I didn't get a chance to see her after she flew away marrying with her husband. It became the story of imagination and that I had dwelt in my mind waiting those days to share those childhood memories and loudly laugh with each other. It remained only an imagination as she already left this world that I am still not able to believe it is true. Since I heard that news I am frequently slapping me on the cheek and squeezing my skin whether I am in a dream. When everything proves it's true it's still hard to accept the truth, but after all she wins and I am the one defeated and left behind in this world crying but nothing would happen. Neither I could talk her again nor she will return everything is in vain.

I didn't have an opportunity to hear her voice, to share her pain and trouble that she had at the end. I should have called them earlier, but how my own schedule blinded me within my own weave I didn’t able to catch them. I called them once, but they just kept saying hello and I talked so loudly to make them hear me, but unfortunately they never listened to me until the call was disconnected. I was waiting the next week to call and to tell them something and to hear their voice, but my dream ruined on its way when I heard she went far away from where she could never come back. I am so sorry my sisi I couldn't do anything in this life I will wait your next life again we will be born in the same relationship, but I would wait for the opportunities to share everything with you. I am deeply saddened due to your departure wherever you are please stay happy and may your souls Rest In Peace.

Your poor and loving sisi