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Tuesday, November 22, 2016

'When my canvases sold out'

It was the toughest part of life when you left me alone without the reason. I couldn't laugh at work. I felt so powerless that even it was difficult to stand upright in the train and bus. Even I didn't want to work, I had to because I had been crawling in my new job that I need to get along with a lot of new
Picture from Google.
stuff. I couldn't collect the enthusiasm though I was trying hard to be engaged doing a lot of activities and keeping away my mobile, but whenever my phone vibrated to notify me a new message and email, I was thrilled to see whether it was you.

I made several mistakes on my job as I couldn't concentrate my mind. I knew a guilt is nothing more than a wastage of time and I also knew I had to control my mind as everything had already gone away. I could nothing except making myself weaker and failure in my job. I had a fear that whether I would have fired from the job if I couldn't perform as needed. That’s how I had to control my thought and emotion even it was quite hard. My soul was constantly seeking the reason of your leaving as there was no clue until  you left me alone on the way.

I prepared the food for almost a month and set the table for two expecting you would return back to have dinner together, but it was in vain and I ended up having one of the  one-third parts of the meal every day. I lost my hope after then and started to color my memory in the canvas. Whenever I returned back to home I widened my eye whether I could  see you hiding somewhere, I felt your love, your presence and your lovely voice that I remembered every single moment. I didn’t wish to lose you neither I had hurt you by accident. I was not aware all of those things. I was diving into deep dilemma searching the reason within me  pausing my soul and mending my mind every day but I couldn’t find out what made you go away.

After a year, ‘Shelly’ my classmate came to my apartment and found the pile of my canvases filled with colors. I hadn’t share my feeling with anyone and even didn’t want to mention all of the things with anyone. I hid my pain from my colleagues, friends and even with relatives because if they asked me the reason, I didn’t have even a single word to tell them. We never fought with any issues rather you would remind me frequently I was so wise and intelligent than you, that made me feel proud having you in my life.

Shelly returned back to my apartment one day and asked me to get my painting to the art exhibition where her boss was organizing that. I didn’t want them to show the people but after she insisted me a lot, I thought to give some of my canvasses with shrinking my heart as all of them had filled with my beautiful memory. Many people liked my painting and one of the greatest artists who was one of the richest  men of the New York city asked me for appointment as he had heard from Shelly I had a pile of  painting in my room. So what he came to me one day and liked my all of the arts. He returned back assuring me to give a call.

I wished not to receive a call from him because I didn’t want to sell my memory. But next day in the morning, I got a call and offer for a million of dollars for my canvases that I had filled with your memory. I was bit confused what to do. Due to my economic hardship, I thought to sell my canvases and today is the first day that I have earned these amount of money for the first time in life. But I am crying for selling you in fact. I had been surrounded by all of that memory that was created because of you, today I am feeling completely empty again and this is the second time in life I am feeling your absence.

Note: Imaginary Diary