Friday, September 9, 2016

An illusion of life ( A short story)

"I am always defeated in my life and this is repeated again" . She expressed her temperament. ‘You are not defeated from your life and there is still a long way to go. I am sorry for making you feel
that way’ I responded to her. I tried to assure her adding something more, ‘we have to make corrections of our mistakes and move forward by ourselves. Nothing in the world is perfect and all of us have shortcomings that we need to address and figure out them. We can't find the perfection in anything in the world, but we have to compromise with all the materials surrounding us’.

It had been two weeks when one of my FB friends  started to talk with me. I write a poem and songs  and want to bring them to the audience posting them on Facebook. Social media has been the best place to reach out to many people and the great way to share the feeling and  creativity. That's why I am using the Facebook to share all aspects of my writing whenever I create a new one. I have met many virtual friends in this world and many of them like my creations and give me a solid and interesting feedback. At the same pace of time, one day when I posted my poem ‘Janu’  was impressed after reading that and asked me to join the hand of friendship via messengers.

Many friends keep on saying hi and hello in that virtual world, but I often  ignore them because I get busy myself most of the time on the other side, it is not possible talking with all of them whoever raise their hands of friendship. But I found some uniqueness and some things different in her nature that attracted me and I inclined myself to talk with her. My enthusiasm and curiosity went up the high volume when she became excited talking to me and praised me for my creativity. It's our custom to joke saying ‘Lunga’ whoever are unfamiliar and unrelated by the relation  in our  Limbu culture.  We both were from the similar background and belong to the same caste 'Limbu'.

As per our culture, I thought we were following the way of gossip saying 'Lunga' to each other initially and were joking for fun. I didn't know whether she was curious to know my reality or just wanted to lengthen our conversation, she asked me whether I was married or single.I just wanted to make fun and keep going for chatting  to pretend to give a try for an apparent affectionate. I told her I was still single as I couldn't find someone as I liked till that age. That's how our chat  had begun and she asked me again if I were looking for someone. I said yes of course. In the beginning, she said she had many beautiful girls with her and she could help me if I needed someone in my life. I told her why not herself instead of showing someone else.

She was laughing for a while, but later on seemed to be serious in her way of writing. I thought we were just making a fun via chatting, but I forgot how women feel if she was serious about that issue. We were talking many things about our lives and way of our living. Even we were far from each other found close emotionally. Whatever issues I talked about her impression was raising on with that and became more curious to learn about me. I didn't pay that much attention as we were just meeting a few weeks back on Facebook and never knew she had already gone a long journey of life in her thinking. I was shocked when she asked a question " I am in love with you, is it okay? " Then I realized I was doing some mistakes, I might have given her a wrong clue just for the sake of making fun of her. I came to know that's not the right things what I said to her that I was still single.

I am a father of the two-year-old boy. I thought she should have known about it by visiting my profile as I have posted my son’s pictures many times even though I have hidden my spouse from that mirror. I never thought woman have that kind of short temperament who could go that way of feeling only for two weeks with a virtual man. I learned that she was saying seriously so I wanted to make the corrections for the mistake I made with her. And collected a lot of courage to tell her my truth today. " I am sorry Janu, exactly I was just making a fun with you as I knew it's our culture to have a gossip for fun and entertainment as we were both belonged to Limbu. I am in fact married with a child I am sorry for hiding my truth."  I wrote her a long message.

I didn’t see her response for a while, but I wanted to resolve that error and it would be wise to console her feeling, " it's ok Suraj, never mind. But could we be a friend ?"  She asked. I accepted her proposal of being her friend and said ‘yes’. She wanted to share her experiences of her own life and as I agreed with that as well.  She began; ‘' my life has been a full of illusion, I have met many men in this world and many of them purposed me to marry but I never liked them whoever they were regardless of their profession money and appearance. But the men I like, are already belonged to someone else if not they run away from me. I don’t understand the reason why”. I felt so sorry about that and said, ‘we can't have more than what our destiny has predetermined and can't go beyond the time, you must have someone gorgeous on the way of your journey. Thanks for liking me and making your friends.' That is what I could tell her because there was no way of diving into the love as I have my own life and set up a goal to achieve.

But I am thinking now, how sensitive women are and how mysterious our life is. As she said many people have the same story as whoever we like, we can’t have them and whoever  like us we don’t want them. Life is full of mystery and with illusion, but I don’t care about love and affection because I have my own reason about that. I didn’t want to tell the long story to someone who has already been injured several times in her own way. I am waiting how her presentation will be at our next meeting. The end!

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