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Saturday, May 13, 2017

You opened my eyes

My dear!

It was hard to live the life, even a single moment without you. I thought I was the one who is more superior than you, more intelligent and more powerful in all the ways whatever we had been deserving together, but today I am feeling so guilty for this misleading perception that I dwelt in my ground of the mind. I am begging you, please forgive me, I thought this world is made only for me,
this wind, sky, and winds are only for me. I knew you are also a component of this human being but only the dominant one who can survive the life under my rule, under my control and should run as per my desire. The patriarchal society taught me the way that I should behave with you. I am sorry I broke your expectations and not being able to play my role as your thought and for being the husband of an older age than our lives.

Every morning when we worked together and had to go to work, I knew we both were earning equally, but couldn't delete the perception that you are only the one who should prepare our breakfast. Even though you were working hard and contributing the same part of responsibility I was the one who had the mind of man always thought I had the privilege to enjoy with my smartphone and TV during my day off because I had wrong conceptions that I  am not the one who should cook and clean.

Sometimes you used to tell me you were so tired and tight with the schedule you had and asked my help but I ignored that because I didn't understand your existence and your value in this world I didn't want to be distracted on my own schedule of enjoying myself with the smartphone and TV. Now I am learning the life, how thought it is without you and our little boy.

You might have tried with me and lost your hope that I could change one day that's why you stopped telling me anything. I thought you improved and empowered yourself to do everything independently, but in the meantime, I forgot you were contributing everything in some extend to me as well. I learned only today you work hard and will work hard, but it will be lesser than previous time because I have been deducted from that portion. If you could forgive me I wish and hope you return soon. I also assure you, I won't repeat my past behavior and will treat you equally dividing the responsibility more than that for your sake I will work hard everywhere, regardless of what time if job it is either to clean or cook.

My life is completely empty and I have been blind in the middle of the way who doesn't know the direction where to move forward. You are the only one who holds my hand and gives both directions accepting my setbacks and flaws. You are not only a woman more than that, you are a mother of my child.  You can definitely take that responsibility alone to take care our child and make the man, but please don't forget my role how he will be affected in my absence, what he will think when his friends have a father but he doesn't. You opened my eye and I learned all the lessons that I should have. Please baby return back.