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Sunday, August 28, 2016

The Separation with the Shadow ( A short story)

The booming noise of rain which I enjoy the most was pulling me far away from the precision where I wanted to dive deep even it was only to beneath my night. The sparrows were gathered to the nest outside of our balcony which sometimes swishing in a soft voice, making the splendid through slowly. It was the moment she had come for her outreach project and I had taken her to the village. It was almost the same season of summer and
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the rain was non-stop on the day of her stay. She was little shy when a guy from my neighborhood congratulated me thinking that I married to her. She felt comfortable only after my mom gave a big slap to him, saying that was not true. It was her first trip to my home since we met in the college. How brilliantly she used to take the twists and turn in life, I had never met with such a fearless girl in my life. We went to the town, but she had very short time didn't get a chance to visit many places. I had thought to take her to the sea, had a dream to go for fishing and had hoped to take her to my school where I spent my early age. But the weather didn’t allow us and our dream had left for the next visit.

I was sitting in the first row as I was the new student and I didn't have any former friends at that time.  A girl looked quite innocent arrived and said; “ Excuse me, may I sit here”. ‘Of course why not’ I replied and moved away, making her a space to sit. That was our first day of college life and started our day with introducing to her and many new friends arrived from different places in the capital. We were both from the eastern part of the Nepal and were there in the capital for further study after our SLC. 

The days were flying at its own pace we became an intimate friend as the distance of our residence was not quite far. We were not only connected because we were the classmates, but the fact was, our opinions and understanding about the social and many other adventures match to each other. We were friends, but as of opposite sex. There were no any exceptions to be inclined to each other emotionally. But I never dare to ask her whether she had the same feeling as what I had. We spent many remarkable moments with friends going away from the city and having fun by joking and connecting the name with each other, Jeni said one day she would marry me if she couldn't get anyone in the world that mean I was the last resort for her. I felt assaulted, dominated by what she said, but accepted that because still there was a little percentage of hope for positive results. 

I was just waiting the day thinking I would collect the courage to tell her after I would have a handsome job enough to pay our lives together. I was working hard to fulfill my dream but before I reached there somebody took her away.  After our graduation, we didn’t meet frequently as before, I was busy for looking for a job and she went to Dharan her hometown assuring to call me. I was left in the capital for the better opportunity and to strengthen my career. 

One early morning she called me and said, her parents were preparing for her wedding with a British army guy. I showed my apparent excitement even I was breaking inside.  "Wow! Congratulations! Glad to hear that you are having new life”.  " Thank you Navin, but are you happy with that, I will be leaving soon?" My heart was lifted loudly shifting from its original place but I pushed my chest scarcely by my left hand. I didn't have the choice to bear that pain, but still I knew I should be happy for her and said." your happiness is mine, I hope you will have a better life there and won't forget me even you will be away". That's all I could say to her. None in the world had any empathy toward me neither any God mercy could help me because I was still jobless. If I had a secure job I could have told her I loved her so much and I wished to marry her. I didn't have the resolution at that time. I asked myself was it true? " No money, no honey ". The quote I had heard frequently repeated in my mind. The pain was terrible, but I didn't have the way to show them, neither I could find the ointment to heal that. Only the way left with me was to keep them tightly knotting inside of my heart. 

I had to maintain the formality, giving her the companion on her happiness. After a few months, she flew to London. It was the toughest time for me to get out of that sorrow. The separation from the shadows was the cruelest time that I ever had in my life. Time flew away at its own pace, my loneliness were filled up by the presence of Manisha whom I met her when I started to work at Nabil bank. We decided to tie a knot and that's how we are here in the village now.

My happiness was seeking the shadow that I lost. Even I had an affair with Manisha for a year long, it is still difficult to untie the hidden secret and move them away from my heart. How the consequences it was she called me yesterday to let me know she will be visiting Nepal and I also told her my new life and she congratulated me for my conjugal life. I am excited about this new life but still I have a regret that I lost my first love because I didn't have money that means I didn't have the nerve to make that true. Even I saw the mingle of two hearts; became unable to join them together. I was pondering all the ways from beginning to the end of my story I even didn't comprehend my newlywed was waiting for me there. I slowly opened the door, she was waiting for me with a little shy, I assumed her, she was my shadow that I lost was waiting with a glorious smile in a cherry blossom garden. I went slowly and held her tightly within my arms the first expression of love and dived into the journey of new life.