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Monday, July 18, 2016

Life is too short, only memories remain forever (On the memory of Late Urmila Limbu Angdembe)

It was like a yesterday, we spent those days together. However, we were almost the same ages; she was my Aunt by relation. She had a beautiful baby girl. It has been more than eight years since we separated and started our own journey. It saddened me and I am completely shocked after hearing that she is no more on this earth. I
From Khem Limbu FB
am realizing now why the value of a human being goes up only after their death. We had had many beautiful moments together, sharing pain, pressure and happiness. We only three Limbu families were
residing at Chakupat Lalitpur and were neighbors. It is one of the Newari residential areas, where only few people from the eastern part have penetrated. Debendra Uncle and Aunty, Ran Bahadur Thebe brother and my family were closely connected because of our caste and origin. My family was displaced due to Maoist insurgency and my father was living his life after retirement in Kathmandu. Thebe Dai and Debendra uncle were lawyer by their profession. My father used to work as a freelancer in different projects. I was partially involved with my father’s project in the field work to support him as I was studying MBS during that time. It was not quite as interesting to spend time in Kathmandu during the great festival of Nepal Dashain and Tihar. The city was emptied as most of the people left for their home. Thebe Dai prepared delicious food for my father and me. I don’t remember whether I made food for them or not. One day Urmila Aunty called me to her home as I was a little sick because of the cold. She prepared the chicken meat and gave me very strong local alcohol called "Tinpane". She assumed; that would work as a medicine for the cold and cough. Thats what I thought and agreed to drink little sips with fried chicken. I became worse than earlier. On the very next day, Debendra uncle visited in our home, while I was taking a rest. It was a coincidence to go their home on the previous day and my sickness. My father asked him what I ate there, since then I wasn’t well. I felt uncomfortable and I wished my he wouldn't talk about that issue. Uncle just gave me a glance and didn't say a thing. Perhaps he might have passed that message to Aunt; she never gave that local alcohol since then. It is an unforgettable memory in my mind . Even she left this world, it will remain with me forever. Urmila aunt and me used to attend the meeting for Mangena Chumlung ( Limbu Women Association) which was just starting in those days. I didn't have any problems as I was with my father, but She had to convince to the Uncle. While we were together, uncle also allowed her to go. We participated in the World Indigenous Day, selling Tongba, Yangben ( one of the limbu typical food) and tinpane ( local home made alcohol) for our organization in the stall . Those are alluring instants that ever keep on striking me. Days were going on it's own pace. I was studying and she had also registered MA in TU but mostly she used to work as a teacher in private school. One day Urmila Aunty said she was returning to her Village Panchthar as she got an opportunity to be a government teacher. The government job was more attractive than the private sector job that's why she thought it was a good idea to grab that. Since then, I didn’t get the opportunity to meet her again. I went away to the United State and become busy to settle here. I couldn't find her on Facebook or I mightn't have connected regrettably .I went back on those days only after I heard this bad news. I am feeling so guilty for becoming busy in my own world. Sometime, those days thwacked me, but was connected with none. I must be unlucky or it was already predetermined to have the journey with her up to that point. Even she is no more in this world, her memories will remain with me forever. It is a life, it is a truth that I have to accept it, but it has been a quite difficult to persuade myself. Why life is too short ? She was not supposed to go away at this early age. Why God is so unfair ? If the God loves everyone equally why this injustice happens in this world. Only the questions are there, nothing more except accepting the truth. After all, life is unpredictable. We keep thousands of dreams in mind, but not sure whether they come to be true or not.